Here are a few bits that I have learned are helpful in keeping oneself happy. Learned it by observing myself and others who are being hard on themselves and causing unhappiness to themselves. There is no need for it to be that way.
- Acceptance: Everyone is blessed with different physical/mental abilities and financial/social conditions. An individual can do little about those. These things are simply out of luck. He/she should accept that rather than feeling jealous or inferior compared to others.
- Expectations: Have reasonable expectations from yourself. Expectations at any point should be such that they are high enough to keep you excited and bit nervous, but should be achievable enough that hope is there. Very often tall expectations cause unnecessary depressions. At the same time, expectations from others should be kept at minimal levels, and shouldn’t keep increasing irrationally when they keep meeting them.
- Improve continuously: Acceptance should not mean complacence and giving up. Keep improving contiuously by setting these expectations (mini goals/objectives/challenges) at regular intervals and giving the best effort in achieving them. That gives life a sense of direction and purpose. Working towards these improves the state of being of yourself and your friends/families.
- Celebrate: One should celebrate all achievements (even small). Achievements need not be big. Just a small pat to yourself is also good enough. However, failures shouldn’t deter you from trying. One should accept the failure and work with refined goals/objectives.
- Be content: While there should be a continuous hunger to do better, one also needs to enjoy and be happy with what’s been achieved or is given. Not appreciating what has been achieved or what is present, only makes us discontent all the time and takes away the enjoyment out of life. Do remember to be satisfied and appreciative of yourself and others who brought that happiness, and don’t be too greedy of them.
- Do what interests you or helps you achieve your interests: One should always do things that they enjoy, foster their interests/knowledge and help achieve their objectives. This is a general mantra, but not everyone has the luxury to be able to do this, as sometimes life is hard on you, and you have to do things that you don’t enjoy, to make the ends meet. That is fine. You are in a way doing things that are enabling to “live life” and “be there and create a better life for your family”. Those are important achievements.
- Be nice to others: There are differences in all of us. Better to be nice to all in spite of the differences. Being nice to others just helps in having a positive environment and fosters happiness for yourself and others. And it helps bring best in all of us.